hotwire is an amazing thing. 

after spending last night in the shadiest econo lodge ever, (as in, winner of the “most noteworthy in unpleasant smells” category, as well as “strange moistness in mattress upon arrival” and complimentary “comforting sound of semi truck idling outside window all night,”) we managed to score a sweet (like, “SWEET!” not “sweet.”) deal on a pool-side room in a 4-star ocean-front hotel in laguna beach.

upon arrival, that room was experiencing technical difficulties.  resolution?  free upgrade to ocean-side “tower”-room complete with private balcony bigger than my old apartment back in brooklyn.  

special thanks to this guy for his ninja-like hotel-booking moves:

mike: Totally Against Full Frontal Photography

we’re so freakin’ close to the ocean you can’t even see sand from the bed.  just blue to the horizon.  i swear to god i’m sleeping with the balcony door open.

back to the present moment - 

like any lady of real class, i tossed on an air of total nonchalance, calmly took pictures of the room from every angle, tested all seating and sleeping surfaces in the area and then plopped myself down on the balcony with my laptop (to upload and look at the pictures i just took of the room i am sitting in, obviously,) and my late-afternoon kfc mashed-potato-and-gravy treat.  (am i eating with a spork, you ask?  why yes, yes i am.  what else would a Lady eat her mashed potato treat with?)

on to some photography of real substance – here’s a smorgasbord of me testing out the seating in room 137:

Real Ladies take their shoes off before they put their feet on the chair

the tide is rising under the balcony as i type this.
it’s actually making me a bit nauseous.

someone on the beach just shouted up to me, “hey diana!  show them a picture of the view!”
no they didn’t.  that’s a total lie.  but i’ve got one for you anyway:

totally slightly nicer than the econo lodge

so, on a scale of “not successful” to “success!  yes!” today will be filed under “Ultimate Success – Supreme.”

other noteworthy occurrences?  list-form, please!

• i once again have a reliable connection to the interweb.  (and all i want to do is go to the beach.)
• i successfully matched the tan-ness level on my toes to the more-frequently-exposed tops of my feet today.  hello long car rides with your feet on the dash.  (no i was not driving.  and yes, i do think about deeper things sometimes too.)
• i worked up the nerve to wear my sassy red fringe top for the first time today.  during daylight hours, nonetheless.  i thrifted it ages ago and it’s so slinky and sheer and bright red and covered in beads and fringe and feathers that i was a bit fearful strange men might mistake my wholesome person for “prostitute.”  luckily i was able to swap for a matching red sparkly bra at the fayetteville swap, which -when worn beneath the translucent hooker-shirt – totally makes for a respectable ensemble.  

adjusting the seating arrangements in room 137.
i will deny owning this shirt – if my mother should inquire – until the day i die.

finally, a view totally unobstructed by me

addendum:

apparently the universe decided i needed to be put back in my place.  my brother just called me mid-interpretive-balcony-dance to say that lightning set the desert on fire a couple miles from the house.  question: “should i stay upstairs in your studio and watch the flames, or should i evacuate?”

let’s all cross our fingers that my home doesn’t burn down while i’m enjoying the life of luxury?  

prime example of a “controlled burn”:

nature always wins.  don’t play with fire.  i’m going to go take a sunset walk down the beach…